Prestupleniye i Kofe

Parody of Prestupleniye i nakazaniye (Crime and Punishment) by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Rodion Raskolnikov hasn't had coffee in three days. He develops a theory that extraordinary people are allowed to skip the line at Starbucks. He murders his alarm clock, stumbles to the cafe, and orders a triple espresso. The guilt vanishes immediately. Sonia reads him the menu instead of the Bible. Porfiry Petrovich is just a barista who remembers everyone's order. Dostoevsky's psychological thriller, solved by better beans.